ENT doctor and Sleep doctor.

Leah's overnight sleep study confirmed that she needed to see ENT doctor and a sleep doctor. We saw Dr. Park about three weeks ago and he confirmed that Leah does need her tonsils out. He also said that most likely she will need her adenoids out too. He is very concerned for her and wants her to get the best care possible during her surgery. We could tell he is very nervous for her for this surgery. As we all know Leah is a mystery child and he can see that she is so that makes him not know exactly how she will react to the surgery.  Because he is nervous I of course am nervous but Chad said that it's good to have the doctor nervous that means he will be right on top of things. He told us that he will have a special team on hand-I don't really know what special team he is talking about but he knows what he's doing. He also told us to plan on staying in the hospital for a week but most likely it will only be for about three days. Her surgery is scheduled for Monday, June 9th. I am feeling okay about the surgery. I do feel bad that it's just another thing that she has to go through. Poor girl!

Last week I took Leah to see the sleep doctor Dr. Pfeiffer. She also is very concerned for Leah! I really feel bad for Leah's doctors- she just confuses them. She thinks that Leah does not have sleep apnea. She said that yes Leah does desat at night but she doesn't believe she actually stops breathing. She went over everything with me that happened to Leah during her sleep, it was very interesting. She doesn't want Leah on CPAP machine mainly because Leah does throw up at night and that she feels it will be very uncomfortable for her. Plus she feels like ultimately the oxygen is doing what she needs right now. She asked us if we have heard about the CBD oil? Ha ha ha! We sure have-she said that she believes it would be very beneficial for Leah. We certainly agree. She said that she would like a second overnight sleep study done a couple months after her tonsils come out and when she has been on the oil for a couple of months. Sounds great to us!

So here we go- surgery on June 9th.

Happy Mother's Day!

It's been an awesome Mother's Day weekend. Leah has done extremely well these past few days. Very few seizures, lots of movement and lots of smiles! I couldn't ask for anything more.
My kids, husband, mom, mother in law and friends have made my Mother's Day one that I will never forget. I am feeling so blessed today! Here is a pic of me and Leah today!

Easter

I know it's way past Easter but I am obviously way behind on her blog. I have a lot of catching up to do.

Easter was great! She had a great day that day. She was full of smiles all morning. We couldn't have asked for a better day with her.

Chad and I spoke in church that day. I hestitated and really didn't want to speak. I didn't want to because it was Easter and I frankly didn't want to give the Easter sermon. Haha!!! I felt like my talk wouldn't hold up to the congregations Easter expectations. Again haha!! But I had a strong feeling to speak so I went ahead and spoke. I think it went well. The reason I am writing about this is because I want to share my thoughts about what Easter means to me and my trial with Leah. Ultimately it all boils down to our relationship with God. How much do we want Him in our lives? We get to choose every day if we want a relationship with him. Honestly, the last two years I struggled to want a relationship with him. Most days I didn't choose Him. I was mad at Him most of the time. I was mad at Him for letting my baby suffer daily. I carried a lot of angry. I told myself I didn't need Him, I could do this trial on my own. I stopped praying, I wanted nothing to do with God. Deep down inside I was nothing but miserable! This was happening on and off for about two years. I know what hell feels like. I've been there over and over. I know the pain. I have hurt so much inside for losing my daughter to a life seizures. This is not the life I had in mind for her. I wanted to see her walk and talk and play with my other children. I wanted and still want my baby girl back. I want the pain of watching her seize over and over to be gone forever. I want her free of her pain and suffering. I wanted God to heal her. I begged Him in prayer every day. I soon began to become so tired so weak. I lived in a blur. Daily tasks were hard. I couldn't function anymore.  I couldn't carry by burden alone anymore. I decided one day to pray and ask in prayer for my burden to be carried. I gave it to Him- Jesus Christ. I let go! This decision changed my life. I chose Him. He was always there...waiting for me. He never left my side. He gave me so many miracles. His miracles. The miracles I needed but didn't know I needed. I wanted Him to intervene and save my daughter from her seizures. I wanted Him to perform a huge miracle in her life and instantly stop her seizures and suffering. I now just put my trust in Him and His plan for her. I let go and I know that one day through Jesus Christ my daughter is going to be free from her pain and suffering. I know I will see her again with a perfect body. We will play and dance together one day. For now...my days are brighter! My load is lighter! I am happy again! I chose God! I chose a relationship with him! I get to have a choice everyday to carry by burden or give it to Him. He is there...waiting for us. He patiently waited for me. The Atonement means more to me now than ever before.